


Be My Mistake

by reverie_tawan



Series: MewGulf AU Oneshots [1]
Category: TharnType the Series (TV), เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV) RPF
Genre: Break Up, Established Relationship, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:07:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23835862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reverie_tawan/pseuds/reverie_tawan
Summary: "You still love him, don't you?" Gulf asked, a forced smile on his face.Mew couldn't look at him straight in the eyes.After a moment of silence, Gulf chuckled bitterly and nodded his head in understanding."It's okay. I knew from the start."
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong
Series: MewGulf AU Oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1717465
Comments: 11
Kudos: 105





	Be My Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work here! I hope you enjoy this 💜 Also, please pardon any typographical and grammatical errors.
> 
> If you'd like to listen to some songs while reading, I recommend these:
> 
> Playlist:
> 
> » Be My Mistake- The 1975 «
> 
> » If The World Was Ending- JP Saxe ft. Julia Michaels«
> 
> »You Were Good To Me- Jeremy Zucker ft. Chelsea Cutler«
> 
> » I Will Follow You Into The Dark- Death Cab for Cutie [Yungblud and Halsey cover] «
> 
> » Somebody Else- The 1975«

"Mew? I'm right outside your hotel room." Gulf whispered towards the microphone of his phone as he was currently talking to Mew.

The other line was dead silent for 10 seconds, making Gulf doubt that Mew was still active.

"Mew?" He whispered quietly, asking for his boyfriend's presence.

A soft hum was the reply from the other end. Gulf smiled bitterly, at least he got a response.

"I'm right here outside, Love. Are you gonna let me in?" The younger one asked, full of hope in his heart but accompanied with a heavy pang.

"I'm sorry, I just want to be alone right now." Mew uttered softly with a monotonous tone.

Gulf smiled softly, tears pricking his eyes. Of course, what could he expect. It would always lead to this.

 _"Don't worry, Gulf. He's just hurt. You love him, don't you? Let's wait for him. I'm sure he loves you as well."_ The younger man reassured himself.

He could barely remember when was the last time Mew made him feel loved.

-°-°  
_Gulf was in love._

He wasn't kidding. He was in love with his best friend, Mew. He didn't know when it started but he's certain he's in love with the older man. They were playing games and when he heard Mew's laughter, his heart skipped a beat.

"Mew.." _What was he doing? Why did he say his name?_

His best friend looked at him, confused as to why he called him.

"I.. I love you. Be my boyfriend?" Gulf said, a little too fast. He closed his eyes, not ready to know Mew's reaction. After a minute, nothing happened so he opened his eyes slowly.

Mew was in front of him, his body facing Gulf. He had a soft smile on his face but his eyes were sad. Suddenly, Gulf regretted everything and was about to take it back when he felt a pair of soft lips on his forehead.

Mew was kissing his forehead.

"I like you as well, Gulf." Mew said afterwards. Gulf didn't take notice of the word like and just smiled at the man he loves.

"So, will you be my boyfriend?" The younger's eyes were sparkling with hope.

Mew seemed hesitant, he was lost in his thoughts for a moment but he put on a small smile and nodded.

"I'll be your boyfriend, baby." Gulf beamed at Mew and hugged him, kissing the latter's cheeks in delight.

"Thank you! You won't regret this!"

Mew could only nod, ignoring the regret he felt. After all, he'll learn to love Gulf, right? He's lovable and they've been friends for so long. He'll learn to love him. 

~°~°  
The lovers were cuddling on the bed, watching the rain outside. Their limbs were entangled, their breaths soft and the heartbeats they shared were beating in unison.

Everything felt calm and all in their right place. 

"Love?" Gulf muttered softly, looking up at Mew. 

"Yes?" Mew replied, looking down at him with those orbs that the younger adored so much. The gesture made the 22 year-old feel warm inside, his heart fluttering. 

"I love you." He smiled, still looking at his boyfriend's eyes. 

There was a moment of silence. 

"I love you too." The words were supposed to be warm and it should have brought butterflies to Gulf's stomach but he only felt coldness and emptiness. 

Something was wrong but he didn't care. As long as he had Mew, right? That was all what mattered. 

~°~°  
Gulf was stressed, he had a lot of things to do which he hasn't started yet. His teachers were all disappointed in him. He didn't know what went wrong. Everything was all wrong. He needed someone to hold on to. His mind was a mess and his anxieties resurfaced. He wanted to breakdown and cry.

He saw Mew pass by and with his remaining strength, he ran towards his boyfriend and back hugged him. Mew stood still and Gulf tightened his hug on the older man, tears already falling from his eyes. Mew put his hands over Gulf's and untangled himself from the latter's hug coldly. 

He faced Gulf, eyes empty. 

"I don't wanna hug right now. I'm sleepy and busy. I'll go to the library." He said, making Gulf unable to recognize his lover.

Gulf didn't look at him and nodded meekly. He sobbed silently, hands shaking. He needed someone to hold. He needed someone and he was hoping his boyfriend could be that someone. Yet, he was proved wrong when he was shrugged off.

Mew didn't even bother to ask him what's wrong. 

_It's okay, Gulf. He's just sleepy. You get cranky when you're sleepy, right? Let's just understand him._

Gulf walked away, dragging his heavy heart with him. 

~°~°  
It was 2 am, the outside world was more peaceful than daytime. Mew was on his bed, looking up at his ceiling in the dark. 

He had a lot of thoughts. His mind was going fast and he found it hard to cope up. There was a pang in his chest and it became stronger when his boyfriend's face appeared in his mind.

_Gulf.._

He closed his eyes tightly and there he was, his lover who he was still hung up on. The love that Mew dedicated himself so much into. Mew couldn't let him go since he felt full and complete when he was in that relationship. He felt like he was himself in that relationship. 

Tears fell down one by one until his tear ducts didn't stop releasing more of the liquid. 

_Love..._

Mew cried heavily. His chest was painful and his heart was longing for someone who isn't there anymore. His mind was screaming for his lover who wouldn't come back. 

_Everything hurts._

The broken man reminisced the memories he created with his past lover, wondering how it all ended like this. Was he not enough? Did he lack so much? 

It's been a year since he lost him. Why couldn't he move on? Is it because he believes that he is his soulmate? Is it because of all those promises that were left in thin air? Is it because they didn't have a proper closure? _Is it because.. He still has feelings for him?_

Mew closed his eyes, letting all the overwhelming feelings consume him. His past lover's face in his mind while his current boyfriend that he used to distract himself from the pain not passing his thoughts ever again. 

~~~

 _Gulf wasn't blind nor numb._ He wasn't that dense to take notice of the sadness in his lover's eyes. He noticed how Mew's smiles were forced and out of it. He noticed how he turns down Gulf in almost every invitation the younger initiates. He knew.. 

He knew that Mew was still hung up on his past lover.

But of course, he chose to turn a blind eye to the situation. He loves Mew so he was willing to endure the pain he's feeling.

Right now, they were walking at the park since Gulf dragged the older out of his room since he was cooped up in it for weeks. There was a long moment of silence between them so the younger decided to start a conversation.

"Hm.. you look nice, Love. Those jeans fit you a lot, where'd you buy them? I like them a lot."

Mew stopped walking, making Gulf follow afterwards. The older man stood frozen to his spot.

"Mew?" Gulf called out.

"H-huh? Oh this? It was a gift." Ah, there it is, the smile he forces when he talks to me.

"Okay! Bummer, I wanted to buy a pair as well." The younger commented and continued walking, intertwining his fingers with Mew's. The older man flinched a little at the contact.

_Fuck, everything feels heavy._

"Hey. What did the ocean say to the shore?" Gulf asked, wanting to lift up the atmosphere. Mew didn't answer and continued looking ahead blankly.

"Nothing, it just waved." Gulf let out small giggles, finding his joke kinda hilarious while wanting to get a reaction from his partner.

"Stop it, Gulf. It's not funny." Mew replied, clearly not amused by his boyfriend. When Gulf heard the tone and obvious change of behavior, he stopped giggling and looked down, finding his shoes more comforting than the man beside him. Gulf wanted to confront his boyfriend but also wanting to go home and sleep.

"Let's go back home. I'll walk you to your place." Gulf said, squeezing Mew's hands softly to seek comfort but it felt so foreign. The younger made up his mind that he will talk to the man beside him.

~~~~

Gulf situated himself on Mew's bed and Mew was right next to him, both of them facing each other. Gulf looked at Mew softly, studying the features that makes him fall in love with him more. The younger had an unsettling feeling inside him. Gulf took Mew's hands softly with his trembling hands and played with it softly, the older obliging. He wanted to cry because he feels like he's losing his loved one and maybe, he is.

"W-what did I do wrong?" The younger softly asked, the grip on Mew's hand tightening slightly and his head was hung low, afraid to look up at Mew.

There was silence for a few seconds when Gulf felt his lover move towards him. The older put his fingertips below Gulf's chin and made the latter look at him.

"Why are you asking me that?" Gulf's eyes glistened with unshed tears while looking at Mew's eyes. This was the rare times he saw Mew with his soft smile and gaze. God, Gulf could fall in love all over again.

"I just.. I feel like you're mad at me or something." The younger confessed softly, a tear dropping from his left cheek. Mew let go of Gulf's chin and put his free hand beside him.

"I'm not mad at you." The older replied, looking at his boyfriend.

_Was this the result? The result of his foolishness?_

Gulf took a deep breath and braced himself.

"I know it, Mew. Just tell me." He said quietly, still holding his lover's hand because he knows that this might be the last chance he has.

"Tell you what?" 

"You still love him, don't you?" Gulf asked, a forced smile on his face. Mew couldn't look at him straight in the eyes. After a moment of silence, Gulf chuckled bitterly and nodded his head in understanding. 

"It's okay. I knew from the start."

Mew was stunned, not knowing what to say. He looked down, now being the one not being able to meet Gulf's eyes. He felt the bed shift and two hands cupping his face, making him look at Gulf. The younger was smiling brightly that it hurt Mew. 

_Please don't smile.. It hurts me..._

Gulf pressed his lips on Mew's forehead softly. He stayed like that for so long to the point Mew began to cry. The regret filled him up and it made him ache everywhere. Mew wanted Gulf to stop it, every second that passes just hurts him. Every moment was torturing him, the ragged breath of Gulf and the younger's trembling lips on his forehead, everything was so heavy. The older put his hands on his lover's waist, grip a bit tight.

After 3 minutes, Gulf stopped kissing Mew's forehead. He took Mew's hands and detached them from his hips. He looked at Mew and wiped his tears with his fingertips.

"Why are you crying?" He asked.

"I love you, Gulf, I really do." Mew said which made Gulf smile.

"I know, Mew. I know you love me." He reassured the older.

"W-why are you leaving me then?" God, both of them were breaking.

"You may love me but you're in love with him."

Gulf felt like he was suffocating.

"Take care, Mew. I love you."

He stood up and exited Mew's room. After he was outside, his tears fell. The pain consumed him and he felt unstable, he slid down right beside the door and sobbed his heart out, not caring about anything at all. 

Inside the room, Mew was crying as well, having the same ache.

_Maybe, this is how everything should be._


End file.
